Today was “loss”. But I’ll name it Jude

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Written/ Created yesterday

But we were not present enough to post

So here it is today

Today was “loss”.

That’s how it feels.

Trying not to name it that.

In fact I’d like to name it “growth” or “lived”. But it doesn’t feel like either of those

yet.

So maybe I’ll just name it “Jude”?

Hey Jude

Don’t get down

Take a sad song and make it better

Remember

What? What do I remember?

I don’t know. Dissociated for hours

Last thing I remember was lunch.

Early lunch, at 11:15am.

It’s 5pm

Yeah.

That’s why I name it “loss” and I am composing my angry song

>^>+!>*£<£!!!!!

Blah blah blah blah bleugh. So angry at me

This doesn’t help any

change the soundtrack

Hey Jude …

make it better

Jude says no, only I can

I’m going to run a hot bath …

Writing by Taylor

Art by Kendall

Dissociation is a bugger to live with

But a little humour and compassion changed everything.

We are learning

Slow learning

But still learning

How was this Art Therapy for Self?

I made the artwork as a self regulation and self expression exercise. I was upset and angry and needed to do something that didn’t cause me more harm. Get it all out. It helped but, also, my image is not nearly as angry as I thought it would be. And not as sad either. As I created it - with some layers of collage - I actually gave myself and my nervous system just enough calm to think. And maybe the “growth” took root and the “living” did happen?

Taylor needed to vent but also change her self talk. So this kind of “conversation with self” writing really helped that. And, being that little bit offbeat with it allowed us to not take ourselves so seriously and be a little bit compassionate.

We don’t always remember.

Kendall