What does turmoil look like for you?

trying to focus in the blur; look out, here comes another

a view from the rollercoaster

raw. open. exposed. come on in

#veryhumanrollercoaster #traumarecovery

What does turmoil look like for you? Could you describe it? Or recreate it to show someone else? Or represent it some way?

For me it feels like waves. Powerful, pounding, engulfing waves. Waves that hold me under until I can hear my heart pounding in my ears and I begin to convulse.

Then comes the momentary reprieve where I get to gasp and suck in as much air of life and living as I can before the next wave hits and I get pulled under again in its cruel current. There is no clear shore to be washed up upon when I am too exhausted to keep swimming. Only sharp and slippery rocks to cling to and climb.

Haul myself over.

Slicing my hands open on the barnacles as I slip back into the waters over and over again.

But I keep being thrown against the rocks and I keep fighting through the bruises to try again

and try again

and try again.

The strangest part is I can’t even see what lies on the other side of these rocks from where I am submerged and tumbling. I am assuming dry land? But maybe it’s just more ocean.

And then what will I do?

A small boat tossed and turned until I shipwreck?

Or will I begin to make my own big waves?

I think this is what hope looks like

And maybe it’s why I don’t drown in turmoil?

What does turmoil look like? I can’t see it’s face, I can only feel it’s agonising deluge.

Writing by Kendall and Maddie

Photo by Liam

Artwork by Pseudo and Kendall

How was this Art Therapy for Self?

This is actually a part of a larger piece we have started that is us trying to express this “season” in our lives. Today we needed some gentle reminding that turmoil does always pass. Liam grabbed the camera and started photographing sections of the painting from different angles and exposures and with movement. Doing this helped to focus and regulate but also to feel like we were finding visual expression and representation of what we are feeling. Writing about it made it feel more concrete which was very needed in the … well, the turmoil 😉

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How to join: please come in

Many many days we feel alone or lost or just utterly discombobulated (fave word). Other days we feel like we are awash with wisdom or insight or hope. It's a rollercoaster alright!

Probably the most vital thing for us on our journey is that we are not travelling alone. We have the world's most magnificent friends, access to amazing therapy and a whole lot of serendipity of perhaps divine intervention?

I don't know about you, but rollercoasters all alone are no fun. So let's share the ride - the more the merrier, as "they" say (who are "they" anyway? This time "they" are right).

So here's where we share openly and authentically and expose ourselves with all our bits and pieces. At first we wanted to title this section "hanging out the dirty laundry" but then we realised it wasn't dirty, it was just life.

So please, journey with us. Let's hold one another and find encouragement in togetherness as we go Doooooown and UP. Because we always do. Smile

Same as always, follow along, add your own, riff off ours.

If you're feeling brave, post your versions in our comment feed so others can be inspired too. Or upload to your own social media (be sure to use our hashtags - #veryhumanrollercoaster - so we can find each other). Either way, make sure to comment on posts by others and encourage one another as we find new voices.

The only rules are: RESPECT!

See you in there!

Leonora et al​